Ringing in a new year with lots of changes ahead! A new baby (man it feels good to be able to say that now!) this summer. The step boys are getting older which means they are participating in more sports and school events which means we are working on new arrangements to make sure they can do them. Got some major bills we really need to work on, did good in 2013 but this year we need to do GREAT. I need to lose weight this year, after the babe is born oh course! Actually up to this point I have completely maintained where I am at, actually lost a little from the morning sickness. Got to maintain, that’s what the doc said! Leo will be 2 in feb. Oh man the twos!!
2014 will be a good year, I can feel it. Although do we always feel this way with the new year? Personally I am not one for resolutions. Not my thing. Seems silly to put a ‘resolution’ into place when you know its just a ‘thing’ to do because its the new year. Now what I do think is a good idea is making good healthy life changes that you already knew last year you needed to change. Maybe its the same thing, to me its not though. Anyway I know this year I need to be more serious than I ever have been about bills. Time to refocus and keep trucking! Getting insurance for our family has been another issue I am working on. I have been trying for at least 2 months to get “verified” for obamacare to see if I qualify for extra help. I cant even tell you how many stupid times I deleted my application and re did it, in hopes of getting past the glitch. Well tonight I completely deleted my profile and made a new profile, username, everything. And bam! It verifies me right away and my application is being sent on to see if we qualify for extra help. Choosing not to be upset, because is there any reason? What else for the new year? Well I need to keep working on me. Simply put. I have forgotten for so long to take care of me. And its that old saying, ‘if mama aint happy, aint nobody happy!’ The hubbs and i will continue to work on us. We have been married for 5 years and together longer than that. We have reached that stage where things go unsaid and that’s very damaging to a relationship, any relationship but especially a marriage. I think we both feel at times that its easier just not to say anything, about even the smallest things like what happened during our day. Its not that we have a horrible marriage, I’m actually very happy and I know lee is also. Its just time for a check up and make us even better. I will continue to work on me as a mom and a step-mom. I love the mom I am to my 3 boys BUT I would be lying if I said being a step-mom is easy. Do I regret, despise it or hate it? Absolutely not. I love it and I have such unconditional love for my step boys. I think its the distance that makes it the hardest. We see them throughout the year and each time they come home, they have grown and changed. Its like we have to re-learn their personalities for the stage they are in each and every time. We have to start at stage one. Now do they change that much, no. But you all remember teen years. Put a couple months in-between each time you see a teen, and they are different. My two step boys are pretty darn amazing and we have grown together. There’s no manual on ‘how to be the perfect step-mom’. Now I have read many parenting books for stepchildren. But nothing is perfect. I mess up, each and every time they are here. And it has severely played with my moods and if you will depression. I feel like I am constantly under a magnifying glass, am I? Should I really care what anyone, and I mean anyone else thinks of me as a step-parent. NO. But I would be lying if I said I dont think about it. So this year I will start not caring and just do me as a step-mom.
Speaking of being a step-mom, its my boys last day here with us. So its time to sign off and get them off their tablets and play a game or something! Love to all. From our family to yours we wish you an awesome 2014!
Happy and Healthy Family 